Monday 10 December 2012

Being Treated as Air

(A little background information, in case you weren’t aware of this: I am a Canadian living in Taiwan. My wife is Taiwanese and both of our children were born here. As well as my first language of English, I have also become quite fluent in Mandarin Chinese in the twelve-plus years I have been living here. I am quite capable of carrying on a conversation with anybody about anything here. The person mentioned below knows this -- or at least should know this because I have spoken with her before.)
As posted on my Facebook page: 如果我一天不想在台灣繼續住下去的話,原因就是我受不了別人認為我是空氣。
This afternoon my wife, my daughter, and I went to pick up my son from school. As we were standing there waiting for the children to be let out, one of the teachers came out to tell us – or I at least thought it was “us” – something good that my son had done that day. I was holding on to my daughter and my wife was standing right beside me. The teacher came out and started telling my wife – not me, apparently – what had happened. The interesting thing that I noted was that her eyes were focused on my wife and my wife only. They didn't register me at all. It was as if I wasn't there. To make matters worse, as they were talking, both the teacher and my wife turned their bodies to look at my son who was across the yard playing. In doing so they essentially turned their backs to me and left me standing behind them. I was effectively eliminated from the conversation.
That in itself isn't very nice, I think, and left me feeling quite strange. The big thing, however, is that the school my son goes to is a little special. They are taught the basic concepts of Buddhism and Confucianism. One of the things they are taught is that the family unit is very important. In particular, children there are taught that one's parents are very important and need to be respected. For example, all the students are expected to bow and say hello to every parent – including their own – that they see.
Should that doctrine not also extend to the teachers as well? If we as adults want children to behave a certain way, should we not act that way ourselves? As such, should the teachers not also respect the parents of the students there? One way, I would think, to show that respect is not to pretend or in any way give the impression that one parent is not even there. Because that's the way it felt to me as I was standing there. I got the feeling that that teacher didn't even know I was there, even though I was standing right beside the person she did know was there.