What the Fortune Teller Said

Last week, my wife and I went to see a fortune teller. To those that don't know, fortune telling in Chinese culture is not the same as in Western culture. There are no crystal balls or Tarot cards. It's nothing like, "You're going to meet a dark stranger," or "Something bad is going to happen to you in the next week." Instead, they take your birthday and the time you were born, do some calculations, and tell you what kind of person you are, what kind of job you are suitable for, when would be the best time to get married, have children, move house, start a business, change jobs, etc. Is it true? Who really knows, but in my personal experience it is less ambiguous than crystal balls and horoscopes. And it's something that has been done for thousands of years, so they've had lots of time to research this and make refinements.

So, here is what he said:

*It is better for me to be living anywhere but in Canada -- at least for the next ten years. I will do better, be happier, and make more money if I am outside my own country. We were contemplating moving to Canada in the next one or two years, but I guess now those plans are on hold.

*It is best if my wife does not work for the next ten years. (Chinese fortune telling goes in ten year cycles, by the way, that is why there are so many "ten years".) So for the next little while, my wife is stuck being a housewife (or "homemaker, which I believe is the proper term right now). She's not happy about that. She wants to be out working.

*We will have two children (we already have one, in case you didn't know) and the best time to have one is next year. My wife is destined to have two boys, so if this is true, my dreams of having a daughter are gone. Oh well, there's nothing wrong with boys.

*We should be living in an apartment. If we live in a house, it should be in a high place. That's good news to my wife; she would like to move, given the chance. For me, an apartment would be nice -- it'd be cozier, I think -- but one thought keeps occurring to me: In an apartment, where do I keep my bicycles?

*I'm going to get fat, but my wife can't let me get that way. Being fat is bad.

*I'm going to live for a very long time.

*Concerning our two children:

--> The older one is going to pick on the older one, but having a younger brother will be very good for the older one.

--> The older one is not going to want to study but will be quite smart and will make a lot of money.

--> The younger one is going to be a bit of a bookworm. 

--> The older one is going to talk to his mother more than to me. He will, however, need to be around me a lot. He just won't say much. Anything important or interesting in his life he will tell his mother; when he needs something, he'll come looking for me.

*He did mention what kind of job I should be doing, but I both forget and didn't quite understand the words used. I think he mentioned something about importing and exporting though. And he did say teaching wasn't exactly the best job for me.

I think that's all, but there might have been more that I forget. That's enough for now though.